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One liner thread

Discussion in 'General Industry Questions' started by Mother Deuce, Nov 1, 2019.

  1. sfrs4

    sfrs4 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2013
    Messages:
    140
    Occupation:
    parts admin
    Location:
    Great Britian
    Don't put ya fingers where you wouldn't put d!(k.
    You can't polish a tu&d, but ya can sure as hell roll it in glitter.
     
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  2. Blocker in MS

    Blocker in MS Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2019
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    463
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Got a personal variation on this one. We were doing the dirt on a now infamous power plant. There was a young, very talented, shy genius of a boy dragging finish grade on one of the building foundations we just had gotten filled. It was a LARGE several acre pad. He is 3/4 across it on his last finish pass and a guy in an off road truck makes tracks across. No one said anything. He came on the radio and said “that is like rat tracks on your wedding cake”. I will probably never forget that one.
     
  3. Spud_Monkey

    Spud_Monkey Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2018
    Messages:
    522
    Occupation:
    Retired Veteran Mechanic/Welder
    Location:
    Wherever I may roam...
    Actually you can polish a terd, they did it on Mythbusters...

    You can polish a terd, but it’s still a terd.
     
  4. Blocker in MS

    Blocker in MS Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2019
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    463
    Location:
    Mississippi
    The welder’s guarantee-if it breaks, you can keep both pieces.
     
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  5. Welder Dave

    Welder Dave Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    2,857
    Location:
    Canada
    I'll believe you this time but never lie again.
     
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  6. Wilson892

    Wilson892 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2015
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    87
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    If clues where shoes the boy would be walking barefoot.
     
  7. Ronsii

    Ronsii Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2011
    Messages:
    2,456
    Occupation:
    s/e Heavy equipment operator
    Location:
    Western Washington
    How's it hangin'???
     
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  8. gtermini

    gtermini Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 29, 2015
    Messages:
    197
    Location:
    Amity, OR
    If I wanted to hear an arsehole speak, I'd fart.
     
  9. Blocker in MS

    Blocker in MS Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2019
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Mississippi
    Measure once and curse twice.
    Cut it twice and it is still too short.
     
  10. Blocker in MS

    Blocker in MS Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2019
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    Location:
    Mississippi
    If you do not expect too much, you might not be let down.
     
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  11. Blocker in MS

    Blocker in MS Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2019
    Messages:
    463
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Grease is like money, if a little will do you a little good, a lot will do you a lot of good.
     
  12. partsandservice

    partsandservice Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
    Messages:
    680
    Location:
    Georgia
    When you play stupid games ,you win stupid prizes
     
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  13. Tags

    Tags Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    816
    Location:
    Connecticut
    He doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in or a window to throw it out of
     
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  14. partsandservice

    partsandservice Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2011
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    Location:
    Georgia
    Five percent of the work takes ninety five percent of the time.
     
  15. Ronsii

    Ronsii Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2011
    Messages:
    2,456
    Occupation:
    s/e Heavy equipment operator
    Location:
    Western Washington

    I know that one all too well ;)


    Some days it just doesn't pay to get outta bed.
     
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  16. wornout wrench

    wornout wrench Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2012
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    631
    Occupation:
    Retired Heavy Duty Mechanic
    Location:
    Campbell River, BC, The Left Coast of Canada
    Couldn't find his a$$ with both hands
     
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  17. DMiller

    DMiller Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2010
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    6,454
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location:
    Hermann, Missouri
    Many will NOT understand, 'Just won or lined up to win the, or Worthless as a Fur Lined Pi$$ Pot'.
     
  18. 1693TA

    1693TA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2010
    Messages:
    193
    Occupation:
    FAA Radar Engineer, (Retired)
    Location:
    Farmington IL
    You know the honeymoon's over when your wife comes in and takes a *hit while you're brushing your teeth.
     
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  19. spitzair

    spitzair Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
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    900
    Location:
    Squamish BC (Home), Slave Lake, AB (Work)
    There’s nothing more permanent than a temporary fix that works!
     
  20. chroniekon

    chroniekon Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2011
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    266
    Location:
    Albany, Or
    When all else fails...stretch the spring.
     
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