One liner thread

[sfrs4]

Don't put ya fingers where you wouldn't put d!(k.
You can't polish a tu&d, but ya can sure as hell roll it in glitter.

 

[Blocker in MS]

Tryin' to make birthday cake outta dog $hit!

Got a personal variation on this one. We were doing the dirt on a now infamous power plant. There was a young, very talented, shy genius of a boy dragging finish grade on one of the building foundations we just had gotten filled. It was a LARGE several acre pad. He is 3/4 across it on his last finish pass and a guy in an off road truck makes tracks across. No one said anything. He came on the radio and said “that is like rat tracks on your wedding cake”. I will probably never forget that one.

 

[Spud_Monkey]

Don't put ya fingers where you wouldn't put d!(k.
You can't polish a tu&d, but ya can sure as hell roll it in glitter.

Actually you can polish a terd, they did it on Mythbusters...

You can polish a terd, but it’s still a terd.

 

[Blocker in MS]

The welder’s guarantee-if it breaks, you can keep both pieces.

 

[Welder Dave]

I'll believe you this time but never lie again.

 

[Wilson892]

If clues where shoes the boy would be walking barefoot.

 

[Ronsii]

How's it hangin'???

 

[gtermini]

If I wanted to hear an arsehole speak, I'd fart.

 

[Blocker in MS]

Measure once and curse twice.
Cut it twice and it is still too short.

 

[Blocker in MS]

If you do not expect too much, you might not be let down.

 

[Blocker in MS]

Grease is like money, if a little will do you a little good, a lot will do you a lot of good.

 

[partsandservice]

When you play stupid games ,you win stupid prizes

 

[Tags]

He doesn't have a pot to pi$$ in or a window to throw it out of

 

[partsandservice]

Five percent of the work takes ninety five percent of the time.

 

[Ronsii]

Five percent of the work takes ninety five percent of the time.

I know that one all too well


Some days it just doesn't pay to get outta bed.

 

[wornout wrench]

Couldn't find his a$$ with both hands

 

[DMiller]

Many will NOT understand, 'Just won or lined up to win the, or Worthless as a Fur Lined Pi$$ Pot'.

 

[1693TA]

You know the honeymoon's over when your wife comes in and takes a *hit while you're brushing your teeth.

 

[spitzair]

There’s nothing more permanent than a temporary fix that works!

 

[chroniekon]

When all else fails...stretch the spring.