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One liner thread

Discussion in 'General Industry Questions' started by Mother Deuce, Nov 1, 2019.

  1. funwithfuel

    funwithfuel Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2017
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    3,506
    Occupation:
    Mechanic
    Location:
    Will county Illinois
    Some folks are alive only cuz it's illegal to kill them.
     
  2. Spud_Monkey

    Spud_Monkey Senior Member

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    Sep 15, 2018
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    It ain't leaking oil, it's sweating...
     
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  3. John C.

    John C. Senior Member

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    Occupation:
    Machinery & Equipment Appraiser
    Location:
    Northwest
    That's not leakage, it's just marking its territory.
     
  4. Ronsii

    Ronsii Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2011
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    Occupation:
    s/e Heavy equipment operator
    Location:
    Western Washington
    They don't call it detroit floor wax for nothing ;)
     
  5. Tags

    Tags Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    1,141
    Location:
    Connecticut
    You can’t tell your ass from a hole in the ground
     
    Spud_Monkey likes this.
  6. gtermini

    gtermini Well-Known Member

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    May 29, 2015
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    198
    Location:
    Amity, OR
    Couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot if the directions were written on the sole.
     
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  7. Spud_Monkey

    Spud_Monkey Senior Member

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    Should of poured more bleach in the gene pool...
    Their mom should of swallowed that night...
     
    kshansen likes this.
  8. farmerlund

    farmerlund Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2014
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    766
    Occupation:
    Farmer/ excavator
    Location:
    North Dakota
    To the unfriendly bar maids: " if you don't like us now, you're going to hate us later."
     
  9. Tags

    Tags Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    1,141
    Location:
    Connecticut
    The back of a septic pump truck....

    “We’re number one in the number two business”
     
  10. Welder Dave

    Welder Dave Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    5,205
    Location:
    Canada
    The back of the septic truck we had come a couple times said:

    You dump, We pump
     
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  11. chroniekon

    chroniekon Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2011
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    359
    Location:
    Albany, Or
    There used to be a garbage truck around here that had a sign on the back: Satisfaction Guaranteed or Double Your Trash Back
     
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  12. sled dog

    sled dog Well-Known Member

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    Apr 7, 2014
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    179
    Location:
    Hartdford City, In.
    Dave, I've seen one that says "Yesterdays Meals On Wheels" ....
     
    kshansen and Truck Shop like this.
  13. Truck Shop

    Truck Shop Senior Member

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    Dec 8, 2015
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    Occupation:
    star gazer
    Location:
    SE Washington St
    What to say when you see guy wearing a belt and suspenders {there's a man who doesn't trust his pants}.
     
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  14. ianjoub

    ianjoub Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2018
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    547
    Location:
    Homosassa, FL USA
    And off into the gutter:

    That was like rolling a hotdog down a hallway.
     
    Spud_Monkey likes this.
  15. petepilot

    petepilot Senior Member

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    Jul 7, 2018
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    1,611
    Location:
    central shenandoah valley va,
    look up (stoolbus) for a chuckle
     
    Spud_Monkey likes this.
  16. DIYDAVE

    DIYDAVE Senior Member

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    Feb 18, 2007
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    Location:
    MD
    I always remember that scene...;)

     
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  17. Spud_Monkey

    Spud_Monkey Senior Member

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    Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking $hit from some asshole.
     
  18. Norwegian Steam

    Norwegian Steam Active Member

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    Aug 11, 2018
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    40
    Location:
    Orange County
    “That guy is about a half bubble off plumb”
     
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  19. Norwegian Steam

    Norwegian Steam Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2018
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    40
    Location:
    Orange County
    Colder than a well diggers ass
     
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  20. Bls repair

    Bls repair Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
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    Occupation:
    Equipment operator,mechanic
    Location:
    S E Pa
    Life is like a fan,if your in front of it ,it’s a breeze,if behind it ,it sucks.
     
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