Favorite phrases you use

[HDMRice]

Being a field tech, I at times get help from others, such as the operator or a hand on site. Which by me is fine - pass me this, pass me that. Go turn it over and the like. Thing is they just love sticking their fingers into places they shouldn't be.

I find I'm constantly saying "Watch your fingies" or "Get your mitts off of there!"

I've got young kids, and it feels the same.

 

[dabsfabs]

About as much use as tits on a frog.

Wouldn't trust him to put battery in torch.

I stand about as much chance of growing fanny than that ever happening.

Now i know what a monkeys fu*king a football looks like.

Like a pig handling musket.

 

[DMiller]

Got called one the other day, "Bout as handy as a bent nail and rusty as one been out in the yard a few years" About my driving, since had not driven from about 1996. Odd machines here and there and my own junk but been away from Tractor trailer sets for over 20. Getting the rust off still and managed to straighten some that useless bent nail.

 

[Jumbo]

About as much use as tits on a frog.

Wouldn't trust him to put battery in torch.

I stand about as much chance of growing fanny than that ever happening.

Now i know what a monkeys fu*king a football looks like.

Like a pig handling musket.

OK< I understand tits on a frog, the monkey and football, I think I understand battery in torch (flashlight.) But for us on this side of the pond enlighten us: Pigs and Muskets? Growing fanny? I may have a need to know when I am being insulted, so I can appreciate it better. It is always a waste of a good insult if the recipient does not know they are being insulted....

 

[Jumbo]

After work;
"The fish aren't any bigger in this bar than they were in the last."
Tall fellow;
"He's tall enough to hunt ducks with a rake."
Life and death;
"Might as well spend it, you never see a luggage rack on a hearse."
For a marginal manager;
Maybe the boss isn't an idiot, but he'll do until one gets here.
You have to be sitting in mud with rain and snow running down your back;
"Every day a holiday , every lunch a picnic."

Told to me by an old hook tender who just dodged a date with death right before my eyes;
"Heh, Heh, Heh, I'm going to die of natural causes; at the hands of a jealous husband, now where's my damned snoose."

 

[mitch504]

OK< I understand tits on a frog, the monkey and football, I think I understand battery in torch (flashlight.) But for us on this side of the pond enlighten us: Pigs and Muskets? Growing fanny? I may have a need to know when I am being insulted, so I can appreciate it better. It is always a waste of a good insult if the recipient does not know they are being insulted....

I think I can translate some... I think fanny is slang for female genitalia in this instance. Pigs and muskets; I guess just imagine a young hog with an antique long gun. That one is kinda odd...

 

[Queenslander]

I have heard it as... like a cow handling a musket..... someone who is being very clumsy.
Brings to mind, cows with guns...lol

On edit.... sorry, I couldn’t resist.

 

[dabsfabs]

I have always been pig handling musket, was some who was on the hand fisted, or awkward handle something or doing a task.

 

[DMiller]

He's All Thumbs, cannot find his ass with Both hands as doesn't know where to look, if he used his hands for hammers would be more useful.

 

[mitch504]

Cows with guns was hilarious! I would give a lot for my father to see that! He was a cattleman, and it fit his sense of humor perfectly!

 

[RobVG]

Remembering how to hook up trailer air lines:
"Red Reft"

"My bosses invented copper wire by fighting over a penny"

" Another day in paradise... "

 

[92U 3406]

"My bosses invented copper wire by fighting over a penny"

Are we co-workers?

 

[repowerguy]

Slightly off topic here, but this was in some of my papaw’s things.
It was a company he worked for a little while in the 80’s.

 

[Tradesman]

When asked how your doing.
" just living the dream"

 

[dirty4fun]

"Which way did they go, how many were there, I have to find them I am their leader"

 

[m_ice]

I'd like to go back in time and hand yer daddy a rubber.

My favorite variation of this...
Your mom should've done us all a favor and swallowed you.

 

[dabsfabs]

Also

About as much use as nuts to monk.

And your mother gave brith did slap the baby or the mum, in your case i bet they slapped the mother.

 

[pipeline mech]

We do it Nice because we do it Twice!!!

 

[Showpony]

rough as a bullocks a$$ sown up with a plough chain.
ugly as a hat full off spiders
as much use as a cigar lighter on a motor bike.
the faster i go the behinder i get.

 

[hookedondiesel]

I coulda been an astronaut, Dam these eyes....lol