Man you got a crazy problem. And it don't help that I don't know the hyd circuit of the machine! And...I've never seen a combination of problems that you are describing.
The charge pump; If you got on the machine, raised the loader arms, lower them, raise them, lower them, maybe even drop the bucket on the ground and raise the machine by lowering the arms. If it will do this, I doubt you have a charge pump problem.
And, if I understand you correctly; as you run it...it gets worse, then, after cool off, we're back where we started to do the same thing over again. That sounds like a problem related to heat, whether from a worn pump or malfunction of a valve, not certain which yet. And this doesn't even address the problem of not being able to run two functions at once, I haven't figured how these two problems connect yet. BTW, does the hyd circuit work the steering? Or is it a seperate system with its own pump? If hyd systems steers it, how well does steering work? Just curious.
I think I'd check the standby pressure, whatever it is, and note it at startup. And check the case drain at the pump at start up. Connect a hose to the case drain fitting on the pump, place hose in an empty bucket, and start engine. Note how much oil goes into bucket in a minute. Then, run the machine until it craps out. What's the standby pressure now? Connect to the case drain, how much goes into the bucket now?