Favorite phrases you use

[thepumpguysc]

I'm off, like a brides nighty.. [leaving quickly]

 

[redneckracin]

If someone is slacking off and I get asked where or what they are doing "oh he is licking his nuts"

 

[John C.]

He is so slick he could wrastle a mountain lion and never get a scratch.
If BS were music he would be a brass band.
He's the only person I know that washed down the river of life and came out with all the sharp edges intact.
If brain power was fire he couldn't light a match.

 

[kshansen]

Or another one from one of my former bosses: "I thought I was wrong once, but turned out I was mistaken!"
or, "If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't be able to blow his nose!"

Just thought of another of his words of wisdom. When a parts guy would tell him he could have that part the first of next week: "If I wanted it next week I would be ordering next week!"

 

[Truck Shop]

He's so cheap and tight he has threads on his ankles so he can screw his socks on in the morning.
He or she is so skinny if they turned sideways and stuck their tongue out they would look like a zipper.
He thought he had three hairs till he pissed out of one.
He looks like the hind wheels of hard luck
Looks like a ruby stuck in a goats ass to me [being critical of crappy work]

Truck Shop

 

[Junkyard]

I absolutely can relate to these. We usually would ask ,"does your wife know you took her purse"
As far as measurements, .003 red, .007 blonde, .013 brunette, .050 or better black n curly.
Hope I didn't cross a line here.

We all know what RCH stands for

 

[funwithfuel]

That boy, he's 'bout as sharp as a marble.
That girl fell out the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down.
Get the lead outta yer a$$!!!
And you're proud of that?
You eat too many red m&ms as a kid?
I'd like to go back in time and hand yer daddy a rubber.
Thats cute, but it's WRONG!

 

[funwithfuel]

The answer to, is it tight. Like a frog's a$$!
There's always enough time to do it right, the second time.
One old fella I worked with forever ago, always cryin how horny he was. He'd run around saying his junk was so hard, a cat couldn't scratch it.

 

[thepumpguysc]

His Daddy musta came in a flower pot, cuz he raised a bloomin idiot..

Said to a pregnant lady> Somebodys been eatin watermelon seeds.. OR..
you musta twisted your ankle BAD, cuz your belly is swellin up..

I go to the bank all the time & ask them> if they're giving out samples.. Lol

 

[Kiwi-truckwit]

Assume every day will be a f&$@-up, and you won't be so surprised.

 

[repowerguy]

A wise mans mind may change, but a fools never will.

 

[td25c]

" There's some rope in the ruck box in case anyone feels the need to hang themselves " .

 

[63 caveman]

"Tighter than Dick's hatband"

 

[thepumpguysc]

You better figure out which side of the bread your butters on..

 

[farmerlund]

"if you don't like me now, you are going to hate me later"


When someone is over engineering a repair or building something-- "we aren't taking it to the moon"

 

[thepumpguysc]

Right along the lines of>>
I got 2 speeds.. if you don't like THIS ONE..
you dam sure aint gonna like the other one..

 

[sled dog]

I am smiling. You don't want to see me pizzed off!!!!!

 

[repowerguy]

You’re only as smart as who you’re married to.
That one will cause you to ponder a bit.

 

[td25c]

" Fix it rite but don't spend any money on it "

 

[Truck Shop]

His overalls are size 68 with a hat size of 3.

Truck Shop