Devastated I couldn't save her

[Welder Dave]

I got it slightly wrong. The deep veign thrombosis is blood clot that basically stays in the leg but part of it can break off and lead to the heart and after the heart causes a pulmonary endima that blocks blood flow to the heart. The fall may or may not have caused it. It could have happened at any time. If they could have saved her after a fairly long time, then there's a good chance of brain damage from lack of oxygen. She wouldn't have wanted to live like that.

Her sisters helping me is a great help and everything is easier because Debi was very organized. We found 98% of all the information we need. We're pretty sure the bank can help with one card we couldn't find.

 

[kshansen]

Not much consolation; her life ended suddenly. My greatest fear is a lingering death. Alzheimers, Parkinsons, Stroke, anything where a person loses all dignity, deteriorates slowly over a number of years. No one mourns these people, survivors feel relief.

The mention of Parkinson's does hit close to home for me as that is what they say I have. I won't go into any more here as Dave's wife is the story here, I feel for what he is dealing with loosing her at what I feel is a early age.

 

[Welder Dave]

At least Debi didn't suffer. If they revived her after an extended period she would have likely had brain damage and wouldn't want to live like that. For lack of a better word it is good it happened when she was at home as opposed to driving or out and about. I may have said this before.

We had talked in the past about how we'd like to go out (illness wise) and the consensus was better to lose your mind than lose your ability to communicate or lack mobility. That way you don't really know if anything is wrong. I had a friend pass away due to ALS and that would be the absolute worst to live with. You're aware of everything going on and can't communicate and have limited mobility. Parkinson's would be difficult too. Michael J Fox was born in my home town, Edmonton and I think his foundation has raised the highest amount of funds for research as well as making the population more aware of the disease.

 

[Welder Dave]

I just realized it was a pulmonary embelism not an endima. Medical terms are difficult to remember.

 

[John Shipp]

Hi Dave, just seen your posts here and wanted to check in with you, really tough. Stick in there bud.

 

[Camshawn]

Dave, sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing bits of her life with us.

 

[Harold71]

Very sorry for your loss.

 

[Welder Dave]

Thanks for kind messages. My priority is looking after the kitty cat we took in. Actually we figured he chose us. He's very affectionate for a stray cat and I think/know he misses Debi. I'm not sure how I should feel. Took the weekend off. Didn't have much time to grieve right after it happened because of all the funeral arrangements, banking, bill payments and other stuff to do after someone passes. It's a lot! Still hard to wrap my head around it.

She just had a Dr. check for blood clots on Sat. but he never checked the other leg because there were no symptoms. That leg is where she had the deep vein thrombosis that likely some broke off causing the pulmary embolism/blood clot that took her life. Damn, was right there. Did some reading and she could have had a smaller PE for a a couple days that might have caused the nausea and lightheadedness as well as her falling twice. She was such a good person and gone from this earth way too soon! Her spirit will always be there, so there's some comfort in that.

 

[bigrus]

Fighting back tears mate.

 

[kshansen]

Thanks for kind messages

Not sure if you believe in an after life or what ever you may think in that area of beliefs but if their is something of that kind I'm sure she is putting in a good word for you!

 

[Pops52]

Sorry to read of this Dave. Hang in there.

 

[Welder Dave]

Not sure if you believe in an after life or what ever you may think in that area of beliefs but if their is something of that kind I'm sure she is putting in a good word for you!

I think she would like to come back as animal like an owl and keep a lookout over everyone and all her babies/animals. Dogs, cats, horses, deers, bears, buffalo's, etc. She loved them all.

 

[Tony Wells]

I'm sorry Dave. I'd like to say the words to take away the pain, but they really don't exist. Death is something we all have to come to terms with at some point, either a loved one or our own. Scriptures refer to it as an "enemy". I have to agree, but it's a common end for us all. A battle we cannot win. At least you were there for her as long as you possibly could, and for that, I believe she would thank you. It sounds like she would do the same for you had the positions been reversed. That's a good friend. Take heart, you did your best.

 

[treemuncher]

My condolences. Death is the part of the "Life deal" that sucks. In my opinion, it is better to die in a loved one's arms than to die alone in an institutional bed, no matter how hard it hits. It has to happen, sometime, somewhere, somehow.

Stay busy and focused to get through the agony and learn to live with the pain. The cat will also be a big help in this.