uffex
Senior Member
Twelve Rules to assist your service representative.
1/ If at all possible only call the service specialist after all and sundry have dabbled adjusted ,whacked with a hammer with out success.
2./ When describing the machine location be as vague as possible remember a two hundred mile detour will make certain the dealers profits are cut to the bone . ( Always complain that the arrival time from service call was to long )
3./ As the service guy arrives to check in to the site ask what was wrong with the machine to give the impression that the machine has been fixed and the service guy was just leaving the site, then ask how long before its fixed.
4./ Welcome the representative by explaining that the competition always provide a stand by machine in such circumstances.
5./ Make dam sure that the site staff have been briefed to tell the service guy nothing which may be of assistance to fix the machine , use the standard answers such as "I am not the regular driver " or "I was of sick at the time "
6./ Try to have at least six site operatives around when the service guy commences work to comment on his ability ,if he has made the correct assessment of the trouble , if he has the correct equipment which the six must borrow and omit to return .
7./ Repeat the question "How long before the machine is fixed "
8./When the service guy smiles with glee that the machine is up and running wipe the smile from his face by stating that this was normal form for the machine and that the trouble does not show up until the machine has made half a shift at least.
9./ Reluctantly assign a person to assist with the repair , remember this person must have the following qualifications ,
Must not know the bucket from the counterweight- frequently requires to toilet (If at all possible whilst holding heavy parts from crushing the service guys fingers ). Be disabled in some way
10./ Do not attempt to clean the machine this must at least be blathered in five gallons of oil & dirt per. Mt. Sq. Our service guys love a challenge ask him to fix the leak.
11./ As soon as the machine has been fixed ask if the parts were really needed , as in normal circumstances your own fitter could have fixed the machine in half the time and not have used any parts.
12./ Write to the service chief immediately complain that this is the worst service you have experienced and the machine still is not quite right so don't send any bill.
1/ If at all possible only call the service specialist after all and sundry have dabbled adjusted ,whacked with a hammer with out success.
2./ When describing the machine location be as vague as possible remember a two hundred mile detour will make certain the dealers profits are cut to the bone . ( Always complain that the arrival time from service call was to long )
3./ As the service guy arrives to check in to the site ask what was wrong with the machine to give the impression that the machine has been fixed and the service guy was just leaving the site, then ask how long before its fixed.
4./ Welcome the representative by explaining that the competition always provide a stand by machine in such circumstances.
5./ Make dam sure that the site staff have been briefed to tell the service guy nothing which may be of assistance to fix the machine , use the standard answers such as "I am not the regular driver " or "I was of sick at the time "
6./ Try to have at least six site operatives around when the service guy commences work to comment on his ability ,if he has made the correct assessment of the trouble , if he has the correct equipment which the six must borrow and omit to return .
7./ Repeat the question "How long before the machine is fixed "
8./When the service guy smiles with glee that the machine is up and running wipe the smile from his face by stating that this was normal form for the machine and that the trouble does not show up until the machine has made half a shift at least.
9./ Reluctantly assign a person to assist with the repair , remember this person must have the following qualifications ,
Must not know the bucket from the counterweight- frequently requires to toilet (If at all possible whilst holding heavy parts from crushing the service guys fingers ). Be disabled in some way
10./ Do not attempt to clean the machine this must at least be blathered in five gallons of oil & dirt per. Mt. Sq. Our service guys love a challenge ask him to fix the leak.
11./ As soon as the machine has been fixed ask if the parts were really needed , as in normal circumstances your own fitter could have fixed the machine in half the time and not have used any parts.
12./ Write to the service chief immediately complain that this is the worst service you have experienced and the machine still is not quite right so don't send any bill.