1. Thank you for visiting HeavyEquipmentForums.com! Our objective is to provide industry professionals a place to gather to exchange questions, answers and ideas. We welcome you to register using the "Register" icon at the top of the page. We'd appreciate any help you can offer in spreading the word of our new site. The more members that join, the bigger resource for all to enjoy. Thank you!
  2. ALL NEW MEMBERS READ THIS FIRST!! Thank you for joining Heavy Equipment Forums! If you are new to forums we communicate with "Threads", please search our threads to see if your topic may have already been answered and if not then click "Post New Thread" in the appropriate forum. This will allow all of our members to see your question and give you the best chance to be answered. After you've made a number of posts you will graduate to Full Member status where you'll see a few more privileges. Following these guidelines will help make this the best resource for heavy equipment on the net. Thanks for joining us and I hope you enjoy your stay!!

RIP My Sweet Girl

Discussion in 'Gone But Not Forgotten' started by typ4, Oct 6, 2020.

  1. funwithfuel

    funwithfuel Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2017
    Messages:
    3,424
    Occupation:
    Mechanic
    Location:
    Will county Illinois
    Sorry for your loss. I can't say anything to ease your pain. Make sure you and your wife are open with each other. I suspect you'll need one another like never before. Again, very sorry.
     
    Raildudes dad likes this.
  2. Welder Dave

    Welder Dave Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    5,052
    Location:
    Canada
    I'm sure she's looking down and thanking you for everything you've done. Try to take comfort that she is at peace and is no longer suffering. So sorry for your loss.
     
  3. AllDodge

    AllDodge Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    1,835
    Location:
    Kentucky
    Sorry for your loss. May the merrories of the past help replace the pain of the present very soon
     
  4. RTSmith

    RTSmith Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2008
    Messages:
    393
    Occupation:
    Amateur demolition & dirt pusher
    Location:
    Middle Tenn.
    Prayers to you and yours. You never get "over" losing a child, but it does eventually get easier to accept. Hang in there.
     
    Raildudes dad likes this.
  5. typ4

    typ4 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2010
    Messages:
    231
    Occupation:
    Equipment mechanic for a small company.
    Location:
    oregon
    Thank you all for the kind words.
    Being a good mechanic, I am devastated I couldnt fix this. I finally stopped beating myself up about that. May sound strange but by Damn I was put on earth to fix things. I have failed.
    And She is pain free. The only blessing I can find. I couldnt believe the amount of meds She was on before hospice and still in agony.

    If I sound angry and confused,I am, and My awesome wife is too. We are there for each other as someone mentioned.
    Thanks Again All
     
  6. Tarhe Driver

    Tarhe Driver Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    168
    Occupation:
    Comm. Real Est Appraiser-Retired cargo/helo pilot
    Location:
    Savannah, GA
    Typ4, I can't imagine your pain, but just consider for a moment that you did not fail. When the bird flies free, as we wish for all our children, its direction is totally up to its own decision and the wind. We can't control the wind.

    God bless you all,

    Neill
     
    Tinkerer likes this.
  7. alco

    alco Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2006
    Messages:
    1,270
    Location:
    here
    I am so very sorry! I've lost many family members to cancer.

    Please don't consider yourself a failure for not being able to fix her. Think of it this way, someone loves her enough to call her up sooner than we feel she should have gone.
     
  8. 56wrench

    56wrench Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    552
    Location:
    alberta
    my sincere and heartfelt condolences
     
  9. oldtanker

    oldtanker Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2010
    Messages:
    461
    Occupation:
    Ret
    Location:
    vining mn
    WOW, I don't know what to say. One of my brother in laws is going through the same thing. My nephew, 33, wasn't feeling well. Told his dad I'm going in to get check out. Stopped by Wal Mart on the way in. Collapsed in the parking lot and died. This was less than 2 weeks ago. Services are tomorrow. He is absolutely devastated. No idea as to the cause of death. All they know is that drugs and booze was not involved. I will have you and your wife in my thoughts tomorrow as we bury my nephew. A parent should never have to burry a child.

    Rick
     
  10. Willie B

    Willie B Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2016
    Messages:
    1,995
    Occupation:
    Electrician
    Location:
    Mount Tabor VT
    I live in a small world.

    I wired a new $1,000,000 house in 2001 for a couple. Move in day, the wife announced she wanted a divorce. Husband never did move in. He lived in a trailer on the edge of the property.
    Ex wife eventually bought a derelict house, I wouldn't want my mother in law to live in. Massive tear down, total rebuild. I wired it.

    Ex husband found a new wife, bought a house 40 miles away, minor renovation. I wired it.

    That marriage fell through. New wife got the new house. Ex husband started over, built a new house near the first. I wired it.

    Over the years, he became a friend. Meanwhile, their two sons were a little older & a little younger than my youngest son. They were in school together. Our paths crossed often, I got to a level of not being surprised when one of the boys was at my table.

    After high school they all drifted apart. A couple years later, the younger son was found dead. Autopsy found only traces of marijuana. Plenty of alcohol, but not lethal levels. Parents were devastated! Your son is dead, an autopsy can't say why. 20 is too young to die. His parents will never know why he died. I've lost touch with the mother, the father's life is in a bigger mess than ever before.
     
  11. Buckethead

    Buckethead Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2007
    Messages:
    1,043
    Occupation:
    Operator
    Location:
    Porkchop City
    I am so sorry for your loss Typ4.
     
  12. lantraxco

    lantraxco Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    7,057
    Location:
    Elsewhen
    I'm a little late neighbor, but still I have shed more than a few tears as I read through this thread, as much for the outpouring of empathy from rough men as anything. I can feel your pain in your words, and I am sorry this happened to you. One of the hundreds of any good parent's worst nightmares this. I started late and my little girl is not quite twelve. I worry I won't be here long enough to protect her from the things I can do something about. I hate that she has to learn that Daddy's are not perfect, are not invincible, and can't fix everything that's broken. We can't fix what doctors can't fix, and that's not our fault, though we try to carry that burden with us. As you say, she is at peace, and without pain. I pray for you and your wife the same things, in this life.
     
    Raildudes dad and sled dog like this.
  13. hookedondiesel

    hookedondiesel Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2013
    Messages:
    379
    Location:
    Eastern Ontario 1994 JCB 210S 4X4X4
    I am so sorry to hear this.
    My wife of 22 years just passed away this May also. She was a strong 58 year old angel.
    I miss her dearly, not a day goes by I don't cry with sorrow and anger.
    And like you, I feel an emptiness that just won't leave me.
    Life can be cruel, as you said, some things just can't be fixed,
    My advice to you and your lovely wife,...
    Don't be to hard on yourselves...I wish I could tell you time will heal, but I know better.
    I wish I could say, keep the faith but again,
    Rick
     
    Spud_Monkey and Honcho like this.
  14. Spud_Monkey

    Spud_Monkey Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2018
    Messages:
    1,844
    Occupation:
    Retired Combat Vet Mechanic/Welder
    Location:
    46.044135 -106.160555
    Lost a brother who was 20 yrs old when I was 17 yrs old to cancer on same day as Columbine shooting, forever reminded as the victims of that shooting. Ever since that day I’ve used it as reason to live the fullest cause you never know when it’s your time. It’s been 21 yrs since that day and can say I have lived those years more full and done more in life than the average twice my age and then some. You will never forget her and so I say use that anger/rage to do more with your life and help those around you do more. Sometimes the smallest things are the biggest things to someone.
     
    hookedondiesel, colson04 and sled dog like this.
  15. ridenby

    ridenby Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2016
    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    Frankfort,Ky
    Condolences. A parent should not have to bury a child. Peace
     
  16. old-iron-habit

    old-iron-habit Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,985
    Occupation:
    Retired Cons't. Supt./Hospitals
    Location:
    Moose Lake, MN
    My sincere condolences. My daughter had cancer 11 years ago at age 19. She had a tumor in her chest that grew to choking her in under six weeks. It was the worst time of my life coping with that. Between a very good doctor in Bismarck, ND and a good consulting doctor at Mayo they came up with a treatment picked from a national cancer library that catalogs the cancer type, the treatment, the age and condition of the patients, and numerous other things. They catalog both those that survived and those that did not. The data base keeps growing and shows what works in different type of patients. Fortunately she survived, and has three children of her own now. Please take some comfort in knowing that your loss does add to the database, The knowledge gained will help others, every bit of data helps in finding a cure.
     
  17. Randy88

    Randy88 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2009
    Messages:
    1,931
    Location:
    iowa
    Sorry for your loss of a loved one, cancer has taken many of my family members over the years as well. There are no words that can make it better or right, just make sure the rest of your family knows how much they are appreciated and loved and spend as much time with them as possible being a family.
     
  18. skyking1

    skyking1 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2020
    Messages:
    501
    Location:
    washington
    I am very sorry for your pain and loss. My sister had this happen in May, her oldest daughter. F**ck cancer indeed.
     
  19. Raildudes dad

    Raildudes dad Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    Location:
    Grand Rapids MI
    I reread this the day after Christmas. Our son passed away in May of 2002 . The unexpected collapse - the typical healthy teenager that has the artery to the heart failure (per the autopsy report). I was there and was first on the scene to to do CPR. I tell my employees at First Aid training. this is for you and family emergencies, not work - I've been there, done that. CPR was done for 45 minutes until arrival at the hospital where he was pronounced deceased. the damage was too massive to revive him.
    This ever gets easier especially for mom at Christmas - its 18 years later... and she still gets very emotional. Doesn't want x-mas lights put up outside, no decorations inside except a small mini x-mas tree for our daughter (she's married and away from home).
    I hope you made it thru Christmas ok
    RDD
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2020