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Favorite phrases you use

Discussion in 'Shop Talk' started by Truck Shop, Dec 12, 2017.

  1. Volvomad

    Volvomad Well-Known Member

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    Jul 14, 2011
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    Location:
    Ireland
    There is nothing common about common sense
    There is no end to what a fool can do
    About as useful as a mans t*t . Of ornamental value only
     
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  2. ianjoub

    ianjoub Senior Member

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    Location:
    Homosassa, FL USA
    Like t*ts on a bull...
     
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  3. Volvomad

    Volvomad Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Ireland
    Ya . Bulls t*ts never did much .
    one more
    His mouth was the only thing that ever worked hard .
    I only started reading this thread yesterday . I nearly pissed my self many many times
     
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  4. 56wrench

    56wrench Well-Known Member

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    Dec 4, 2016
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    Location:
    alberta
    here's a couple- tighter than a mosquito's ass stretched over a rain barrel also,- there is no mechanical problem so difficult that it can not be overcome with brute force and ignorance
     
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  5. Nige

    Nige Senior Member

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    G..G..G..Granville...........!!
    "He's only got two working parts, his mouth and his a$$hole - and they're both interchangeable" ........
     
  6. Tradesman

    Tradesman Senior Member

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    Occupation:
    Contractor
    Location:
    Ontario
    You plant corn you gro corn.
    Usually said about dumb or trashy people with the same for parents.
     
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  7. DMiller

    DMiller Senior Member

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    Retired
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    Hermann, Missouri
    Locked up tighter'n a bulls ass at fly time! Tighter than Dick's hatband, Dumber than a box of rocks, could not find his ass with both hands, beat with a 'Ugly' Stick, dumb enough to answer his own questions, a few that came to mind today.

    Don't ask why!! Was at a Ford Dealer shop.
     
  8. Jeckyl1920

    Jeckyl1920 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2018
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    202
    Location:
    Riverside, CA
    Every day is his first day.

    I can teach you anything you want to learn.

    The wiser you are, the less you know.

    My every day reminder: wisdom is made up of strength and humility. 15357471003811537933001410063298.jpg

    Work harder, not smarter.

    For us californians: No se, me tonto.
     
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  9. lynchy

    lynchy Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2009
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    30
    Occupation:
    Plant operator
    Location:
    Cumbria,uk
    Locked in an empty container with two cannonballs....you'd loose one n break the other!
     
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  10. mg2361

    mg2361 Senior Member

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    Jul 5, 2016
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    Occupation:
    Equipment Mechanic/Technician
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    So..you are an "expert"! Definition of an expert is "X" is the unknown, "spert" is a drip under pressure. So you are an unknown drip under pressure!
     
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  11. dirty4fun

    dirty4fun Senior Member

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    Dec 30, 2010
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    Location:
    N. IL
    If your brain was leather wouldn't be enough to saddle an ant.
    If your brain was put into a thimble it would bounce around like a B B in a box car.
     
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  12. SidewinderGlenn

    SidewinderGlenn Well-Known Member

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    Oct 16, 2008
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    101
    Occupation:
    IUOE #132
    Location:
    Bethany, WV
    If brains were gasoline ... he wouldn't have enough to power a ****-ant's mini-bike halfway around a B-B ..

    .
     
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  13. ianjoub

    ianjoub Senior Member

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    Location:
    Homosassa, FL USA
    It was like rolling a hotdog down a hallway. :D
     
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  14. newdanr

    newdanr Member

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    Aug 2, 2017
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    Location:
    Saskatoon, Canada
    I used to work with a guy who would offer the advice "Don't pet a burning dog." Which, I will confess, seemed hard to dispute. Once we were together in a plumbing shop, and one of us made that comment. The staff member there looked at us with shock, and asked where we had heard that. According to him, that was a mis-speaking of some advice from a steel mill, where the correct phrase was "Never climb down a burning dog" and "never ride on a melting pig", in reference to equipment/vessels in a mill.

    Dad had a few gems that have appeared here already. One of his favorites was (usually) in reference to cattle ranchers that were poor with machinery "If you gave that guy an anvil to operate, he'd break it..."

    In reference to engineers/designers - "If its not broken, it doesn't have enough features..."

    You can fix everything with WD40 and duct tape. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.

    The torque spec: Tighten it until it breaks, then back it off a half-turn. Or, perhaps more helpful, stop twisting a half-turn before it breaks.

    The best manager I ever had was fond of saying "Are ya kiddin' me?"

    On project work, I have started using a couple.... 1) the only way a project ever gets done on time is if task #1 is building a time machine, and it gets completed successfully...., or 2) there's no problem that we can't fix with money. Or 3) It could be worse - we could have to do this for a living....

    But probably the one that makes me smile most is a highly respected colleague who used to describe a good situation by saying "You're sh&tting in high cotton now..."

    Or the tee shirt that says "Common sense is so rare now that it must be considered a super-power."

    Thanks for the posts, everyone. This was a great chuckle.
    danr

    Oh, one more - a former boss managing a crew running equipment on durability tests used to say "For this next job, step one is to put your brain in your lunch box."
     
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  15. thepumpguysc

    thepumpguysc Senior Member

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    Occupation:
    Master Inj.Pump rebuilder
    Location:
    Sunny South Carolina
    "I usta be a people person.. but people ruined it.."
     
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  16. terex herder

    terex herder Well-Known Member

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    Nov 11, 2017
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    Location:
    Kansas
    Scum, like cream, rises to the top.
    If you gotta run junk, you gotta have a lot of it.
    If it ain't broke, it ain't mine.
     
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  17. ScottAR

    ScottAR Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2008
    Messages:
    558
    Location:
    NE Arkansas
    "If he got any dumber he'd stop breathing"
    "Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a flashlight"
    "if you worked as much as you talked, you'd be unstoppable"
     
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  18. Nige

    Nige Senior Member

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    G..G..G..Granville...........!!
    "If brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow the wax out of his ears."

    "Run that by me one more time ....... Why should YOUR lack of forward planning constitute MY emergency...?"
     
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  19. Dave Neubert

    Dave Neubert Senior Member

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    Jul 19, 2018
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    Location:
    Monroe NC
    I don't have but 2 speeds and if you don't like this one i know you wont like the other
     
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  20. Nige

    Nige Senior Member

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    G..G..G..Granville...........!!
    Or, in other words, sh1t floats......

    The above was once said to me by a man I have a lot of respect for. His question to me that generated the answer above was “Do you want to know how Management works..?”
     
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