I gotta know what gives?

What do buzzards in Kansas eat?

Carrion, my wayward son....

Buzzard at the airport ready to get on the plane, with two dead possums.


Check in agent says "sorry, your only allowed one carrion".....

DMiller said:

My hands too big, too clumsy for that level of Fine Detail work!!

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I was beating some poor piece of heavy equipment into submission once with a 20# sledge when a salesman walked in... he said "nice hammer" I said "I do watch repair too".

RZucker said:

I was beating some poor piece of heavy equipment into submission once with a 20# sledge when a salesman walked in... he said "nice hammer" I said "I do watch repair too".

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And on the other side of the coin
I was beating a pin out of something one day, had an apprentice helping.
I sent him off to get a big hammer, he comes back with a 10 pounder
I asked him if he was planning on fixing a watch, now go get a HAMMER
He comes back with a 12 pound.
Oh come on.
His eyes just about bugged out of his head when I got the 20 pound out.
We had a 30 pound at one place I worked. You didn't really swing it, you just sort of dropped it and hopped you hit the target.

Had a shirt with a buzzard, "Patience my azz I'm going to kill something."

So I have been sharpening my slide rule with my pocket knife trying to do some calculations this evening concerning some shipping. My O’Reilly’s flux capacitor is being delayed and I am trying to forecast an accurate arrival time by dividing the red shift of the emission of the tail lights from the shipper when delivery was made on my last component divided by the current north American weather patterns and accounting for the average fuel refilling times and hoping there were no unscheduled maintenance problem on the delivery truck. I know the old standard is 50 mph when determining travel time, but this driver is immensely productive due to his experience and I figured on him making around 51.47635 mph. Sound fair? So my major problem is someone offered me a “great” electric toaster out of the back seat of his pickup the other day for free! Can you believe that? What should I do? What is the customary period of time to think over such an offer. So the other problem is that I have lost the ring to attach my wife’s surveyor chain to my slide rule for accurate measurement. Does anyone know the specs? This would really speed up my mbike project since I could blueprint everything and have less “field verified” fabrication measurements. Also, I am running into problems storing the fuel for the flux capacitor without having sufficient access to enough rod drying ovens to keep the atmosphere from destabilizing some the previously delivered fuel. The lightbulb in the refrigerator truck does not seem to seal well enough. I have tried locating some liquid nitrogen, but the dairy industry has been almost non existent for several years. I think this is because of the insurgence of almond milk. Whoever decided an almond was a mammal anyway? Hopefully the country of origin legislation will go through and stop some of this confusion before they start totally switching to the “new math” and we have to go to Canada and switch over to the metric system. Wow it is so much easier that I do not see why we would even need the new math. The Bigfoots get along without it and it is rare that they even encounter a sour llama in the wild, much less need to find a trailer to humanly haul them while running farm tags and no e-logs. I tried to ask Sticks so I would not bother all you guys with this. I think he needs more RAM though. He seems to have crashed a hour and a half ago.

Cooper is on the job mulling this over. If I get an intelligent answer, I'll let you know.

I never understood hoe they milked the almonds. Every time I tried, they just got sucked up into the cup, and jammed up the milker...

DIYDAVE said:

I never understood hoe they milked the almonds. Every time I tried, they just got sucked up into the cup, and jammed up the milker...

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Are you sure you had a milk breed and not meat breed? The meat almonds are far more common and derived from the Indians cultivating what they called the omelette tree. That the milk breeds were developed after Desoto came over and gave Louis and Clark some cashew trees. Once Johnny Appleseed discovered grafting and mixed cashews and almonds we got the milk almond. If you look closely you can tell by the ears. Milk almonds have a larger ear and less dewlap.

Blocker in MS said:

Are you sure you had a milk breed and not meat breed? The meat almonds are far more common and derived from the Indians cultivating what they called the omelette tree. That the milk breeds were developed after Desoto came over and gave Louis and Clark some cashew trees. Once Johnny Appleseed discovered grafting and mixed cashews and almonds we got the milk almond. If you look closely you can tell by the ears. Milk almonds have a larger ear and less dewlap.

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You can actually get milk from the meat breed almonds(alameata) new advances in feedlot genetics have developed hormone modified glucose injectorly grains that when put in the diet of young alameata they will develop almond milk glands(squeeziaries) that will yield 95.82534 percent of what a regular milk bearing almond puts out

Squeeziaries! That is perfect! Somehow, subconsciously, I have known this was the proper term all this time!

Where are you wornout wrench?

Blocker in MS said:

Where are you wornout wrench?

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I'm here.
Dealing with the weather. Vancouver Island snow is no fun.
We got over a foot and then some rain. Have you ever had to shovel wet cement?
Then it froze again.
Digging out my elderly neighbors and the young couple across the street. They just had another baby, middle of the night during the snow storm.
And another snowfall warning up. And as I am typing yet another warning popped up.

Have also had some kind of a flu bug and a good friend of mine just passed, he was only a few years older then I. Has got me in a bit of a funk.

Just some winter blues setting in, I will get over it in a bit.

And the darn bike shop ran out of tire chains for the Mbike.....

So I had a fellow employee (rest his soul) of Dutch heritage who jumped ship in NYC in the 50's. Moved to West MI where quite a few folks of Dutch ancestry live. Married a lady of Dutch ancestry and got his citizenship. Worked as a laborer in the County Road Department. He was a draftsman when I started there. He had 5-6 kids, wife who stayed home and so was quite frugal (as the Dutch can be
Back in those days, we all wore wrist watches, it it was not unusual to take them to a jeweler to have the movements cleaned. Since we had a full service garage back then, motor rebuilds transmission rebuilds etc, he thought I'm not going to give the jeweler $2 to pop the back and "clean it". So he goes to a mechanic, borrows the smallest screwdriver, maybe a tiny pick , pops off the back, grabs the air chuck, gives the back a short burst of air and blew the guts of the watch across the shop. If only there were smart phones back in the day. The look on his face was priceless.
He also always changed his own oil. Waited until the local Farm Fleet had an oil sale and stocked up. I think it was fall, but a cold day. He took his cans of oil and put them on his wood stove in the family room so the oil would run out faster and get every drop. He goes out in the garage for a few minutes. You know where this is going. The paper cans with the metal ends expand until one pops. The oil hits the stove and catches fire. He realizes there's trouble when he sees lots of black smoke. Fortunately he lived in town so the Fire Department got there to confine the damage to the family room.

wornout wrench said:

I'm here.
Dealing with the weather. Vancouver Island snow is no fun.
We got over a foot and then some rain. Have you ever had to shovel wet cement?
Then it froze again.
Digging out my elderly neighbors and the young couple across the street. They just had another baby, middle of the night during the snow storm.
And another snowfall warning up. And as I am typing yet another warning popped up.

Have also had some kind of a flu bug and a good friend of mine just passed, he was only a few years older then I. Has got me in a bit of a funk.

Just some winter blues setting in, I will get over it in a bit.

And the darn bike shop ran out of tire chains for the Mbike.....

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Hope things get better around there!

Blocker in MS said:

Are you sure you had a milk breed and not meat breed? The meat almonds are far more common and derived from the Indians cultivating what they called the omelette tree. That the milk breeds were developed after Desoto came over and gave Louis and Clark some cashew trees. Once Johnny Appleseed discovered grafting and mixed cashews and almonds we got the milk almond. If you look closely you can tell by the ears. Milk almonds have a larger ear and less dewlap.

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Guess that explains steak almondine, too!

How do I protect my condos?

Truck Shop said:

How do I protect my condos?

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Condos? or condors? One flies, the other has flies in it.

What are we trying to protect it from? Tumbleweeds? Cause you guys got all kinds of problems with those out there. Could you just light the piles on fire?

If its about all the drone sightings in kansas, colorado etc., the gov't looked into it for us and- well, there's nothing to it at all. So all you folks just rest easy, move along, nothing to see here, there's nothing going on out there.....

Truck Shop said:

How do I protect my condos?

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TS, we really do not want this thread to be the source of confusion or anything other than cold, hard facts. Please tell us what are threatening your condos so that we can eliminate any guess work, and I am sure we will come up with at least one clear solution.

Buzzards.