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RIP My Sweet Girl

Welder Dave

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 11, 2014
Messages
12,258
Location
Canada
I'm sure she's looking down and thanking you for everything you've done. Try to take comfort that she is at peace and is no longer suffering. So sorry for your loss.
 

typ4

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 23, 2010
Messages
241
Location
oregon
Occupation
Equipment mechanic for a small company.
Thank you all for the kind words.
Being a good mechanic, I am devastated I couldnt fix this. I finally stopped beating myself up about that. May sound strange but by Damn I was put on earth to fix things. I have failed.
And She is pain free. The only blessing I can find. I couldnt believe the amount of meds She was on before hospice and still in agony.

If I sound angry and confused,I am, and My awesome wife is too. We are there for each other as someone mentioned.
Thanks Again All
 

Tarhe Driver

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 16, 2015
Messages
241
Location
Savannah, GA
Occupation
Comm. Real Est Appraiser-Retired cargo/helo pilot
Typ4, I can't imagine your pain, but just consider for a moment that you did not fail. When the bird flies free, as we wish for all our children, its direction is totally up to its own decision and the wind. We can't control the wind.

God bless you all,

Neill
 

alco

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2006
Messages
1,286
Location
here
I am so very sorry! I've lost many family members to cancer.

Please don't consider yourself a failure for not being able to fix her. Think of it this way, someone loves her enough to call her up sooner than we feel she should have gone.
 

oldtanker

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
463
Location
vining mn
Occupation
Ret
I dont know where to put this.
In july 2019 our daughter got diagnosed with cancer. 31 years old. Devastating, so thru the ups and downs of very aggressive chemo, which didnt do much, we visited in sept 19.
Stomach cancer , stage 4, when I got the call while Mom was with her that it spread to her liver and was moving fast I hauled ass to Wisconsin.
Got to have a couple good conversations than goodness after I arrived.
She lost the battle march 5th. our hearts are destroyed as you can imagine.
She turned 32 feb 29th, leaper baby, set her phone down that monday, hospice came in on wed afternoon and she passed pain free next morning 5 am ish.
Had no children .
I hate the fact parents lose any say about care once a child gets married, to a shitbag in this instance. Sadly but that is a long ,blood pressure raising story.

If this isnt allowed let me know.
f**k cancer.
WOW, I don't know what to say. One of my brother in laws is going through the same thing. My nephew, 33, wasn't feeling well. Told his dad I'm going in to get check out. Stopped by Wal Mart on the way in. Collapsed in the parking lot and died. This was less than 2 weeks ago. Services are tomorrow. He is absolutely devastated. No idea as to the cause of death. All they know is that drugs and booze was not involved. I will have you and your wife in my thoughts tomorrow as we bury my nephew. A parent should never have to burry a child.

Rick
 

Willie B

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2016
Messages
4,039
Location
Mount Tabor VT
Occupation
Electrician
WOW, I don't know what to say. One of my brother in laws is going through the same thing. My nephew, 33, wasn't feeling well. Told his dad I'm going in to get check out. Stopped by Wal Mart on the way in. Collapsed in the parking lot and died. This was less than 2 weeks ago. Services are tomorrow. He is absolutely devastated. No idea as to the cause of death. All they know is that drugs and booze was not involved. I will have you and your wife in my thoughts tomorrow as we bury my nephew. A parent should never have to burry a child.

Rick
I live in a small world.

I wired a new $1,000,000 house in 2001 for a couple. Move in day, the wife announced she wanted a divorce. Husband never did move in. He lived in a trailer on the edge of the property.
Ex wife eventually bought a derelict house, I wouldn't want my mother in law to live in. Massive tear down, total rebuild. I wired it.

Ex husband found a new wife, bought a house 40 miles away, minor renovation. I wired it.

That marriage fell through. New wife got the new house. Ex husband started over, built a new house near the first. I wired it.

Over the years, he became a friend. Meanwhile, their two sons were a little older & a little younger than my youngest son. They were in school together. Our paths crossed often, I got to a level of not being surprised when one of the boys was at my table.

After high school they all drifted apart. A couple years later, the younger son was found dead. Autopsy found only traces of marijuana. Plenty of alcohol, but not lethal levels. Parents were devastated! Your son is dead, an autopsy can't say why. 20 is too young to die. His parents will never know why he died. I've lost touch with the mother, the father's life is in a bigger mess than ever before.
 

lantraxco

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2009
Messages
7,704
Location
Elsewhen
Thank you all for the kind words.
Being a good mechanic, I am devastated I couldnt fix this. I finally stopped beating myself up about that. May sound strange but by Damn I was put on earth to fix things. I have failed.
And She is pain free. The only blessing I can find. I couldnt believe the amount of meds She was on before hospice and still in agony.

If I sound angry and confused,I am, and My awesome wife is too. We are there for each other as someone mentioned.
Thanks Again All

I'm a little late neighbor, but still I have shed more than a few tears as I read through this thread, as much for the outpouring of empathy from rough men as anything. I can feel your pain in your words, and I am sorry this happened to you. One of the hundreds of any good parent's worst nightmares this. I started late and my little girl is not quite twelve. I worry I won't be here long enough to protect her from the things I can do something about. I hate that she has to learn that Daddy's are not perfect, are not invincible, and can't fix everything that's broken. We can't fix what doctors can't fix, and that's not our fault, though we try to carry that burden with us. As you say, she is at peace, and without pain. I pray for you and your wife the same things, in this life.
 

hookedondiesel

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2013
Messages
503
Location
Sault Ste Marie Ont. Case 1835C
I am so sorry to hear this.
My wife of 22 years just passed away this May also. She was a strong 58 year old angel.
I miss her dearly, not a day goes by I don't cry with sorrow and anger.
And like you, I feel an emptiness that just won't leave me.
Life can be cruel, as you said, some things just can't be fixed,
My advice to you and your lovely wife,...
Don't be to hard on yourselves...I wish I could tell you time will heal, but I know better.
I wish I could say, keep the faith but again,
Rick
 

Spud_Monkey

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 15, 2018
Messages
6,437
Location
Your six
Occupation
Decommissioned
Lost a brother who was 20 yrs old when I was 17 yrs old to cancer on same day as Columbine shooting, forever reminded as the victims of that shooting. Ever since that day I’ve used it as reason to live the fullest cause you never know when it’s your time. It’s been 21 yrs since that day and can say I have lived those years more full and done more in life than the average twice my age and then some. You will never forget her and so I say use that anger/rage to do more with your life and help those around you do more. Sometimes the smallest things are the biggest things to someone.
 

old-iron-habit

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 22, 2012
Messages
4,233
Location
Moose Lake, MN
Occupation
Retired Cons't. Supt./Hospitals
My sincere condolences. My daughter had cancer 11 years ago at age 19. She had a tumor in her chest that grew to choking her in under six weeks. It was the worst time of my life coping with that. Between a very good doctor in Bismarck, ND and a good consulting doctor at Mayo they came up with a treatment picked from a national cancer library that catalogs the cancer type, the treatment, the age and condition of the patients, and numerous other things. They catalog both those that survived and those that did not. The data base keeps growing and shows what works in different type of patients. Fortunately she survived, and has three children of her own now. Please take some comfort in knowing that your loss does add to the database, The knowledge gained will help others, every bit of data helps in finding a cure.
 

Randy88

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 2, 2009
Messages
2,149
Location
iowa
Sorry for your loss of a loved one, cancer has taken many of my family members over the years as well. There are no words that can make it better or right, just make sure the rest of your family knows how much they are appreciated and loved and spend as much time with them as possible being a family.
 

skyking1

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
7,465
Location
washington
I am very sorry for your pain and loss. My sister had this happen in May, her oldest daughter. F**ck cancer indeed.
 

Raildudes dad

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2007
Messages
411
Location
Grand Rapids MI
I reread this the day after Christmas. Our son passed away in May of 2002 . The unexpected collapse - the typical healthy teenager that has the artery to the heart failure (per the autopsy report). I was there and was first on the scene to to do CPR. I tell my employees at First Aid training. this is for you and family emergencies, not work - I've been there, done that. CPR was done for 45 minutes until arrival at the hospital where he was pronounced deceased. the damage was too massive to revive him.
This ever gets easier especially for mom at Christmas - its 18 years later... and she still gets very emotional. Doesn't want x-mas lights put up outside, no decorations inside except a small mini x-mas tree for our daughter (she's married and away from home).
I hope you made it thru Christmas ok
RDD
 
Last edited:

orangeman

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
53
Location
new york
Hope and prayers that you and your family might find some small measure of peace at this most difficult time. Respectfully, ~ Orangeman
 
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